what’s your go-to signoff phrase for emails?*
best,
sincerely,
regards,
much love,
cheers,
ciao,
thanks,
over and out,
take care,
yours,
something else
I don’t sign my emails
* “go-to” doesn’t mean “only”! there’s a bunch of situational signoffs I haven’t put here, this is more about what you use by default
CHOOSE A WHITE ELEPHANT GIFT
brand new Kia (insurance not included)
20000 unsorted Magic: the Gathering cards
150 gallon fish tank with stand and equipment (fish included)
nice, fancy pair of shoes (very barely not your size)
tickets to a Broadway musical this weekend (you do not live in New York)
potted tree (already root bound, not suited to your growing region, gorgeous)
extra heavy weighted blanket (too heavy to sleep with)
a boat
big and really nice drum kit (loud)
concrete statue of an elephant (500 lbs)
an actual puppy
nice scuba gear but you 10 hours from the ocean
somethin I’ve noticed
i love when pets huff or sigh dramatically. like i am sorry. you’re so right. you live such a laborious life. it must be so difficult to take naps and get pet and fed treats and played with all day. really a packed schedule youve got there boss. how do you manage it all. well no matter i’d say it’s time for your well earned 7th afternoon nap
this notion that if you’re an adult still on tumblr it’s bc something is wrong doesn’t sit right with me… unfortunately I can’t refute it bc there is something wrong with me
when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn’t need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn’t like his tone. used to send him “SHUT UP Jacques” periodically. and he’d answer every single one of my asks like “who is this?? show your face or I’ll fucking kill you” and I’d be like “now now, that doesn’t make sense, jacques” all haughty and he’d get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn’t a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn’t even respond to the rant until I came back. I could’ve chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like “psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn’t take their own values seriously.” and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn’t know how to, or if he didn’t want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I’d conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like “remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you’d been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn’t funny because he probably had problems, and you were like ‘oh.’ and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?” Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you’re out there I’m sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it’s any consolation I know every day of my life that I’m probably going to hell for the sick things I have done
Tumbleweed needs everyone to know that I am his most cruel and heartless mother for decreasing the amount of food he gets due to him gaining a third again his body weight over the last year no that is not all fur Tumbleweed you are shaped like a pregnant sheep!
He has spent much of the day stomping from room to room while yelling his immense displeasure.
Yelling
Begging
Lamentations
2023
READ THAT STACK OF BOOKS NEXT TO YOUR BED
READ THAT STACK OF BOOKS NEXT TO YOUR BED
READ THAT STACK OF BOOKS NEXT TO YOUR BED
READ THAT STACK OF BOOKS NEXT TO YOUR BED
READ THAT STACK OF BOOKS NEXT TO YOUR BED
okay we’re doing this in 2024 for sure
have ads been getting more annoying lately. to anyone else or just me
i think what websites are not realizing is i will do anything not to see an advertisement. and. if u make it so i cant. i will literally just get off my phone. i will not pay to not be annoyed. the one thing i hate more than spending money is someone trying to advertise me something to spend money on
creatively though this has been phenomenal everything is trying to sell me something so i just Log Off. and go draw. or play the same pokemon games i have owned since i was 11. you cannot control me i have autism and i hate you
“hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me” is the funniest phrase because it always does. it always will. from personal experience things have already started to rouse from their slumber before i even get the first three words out
something has certainly awakened. it is wide awake and loud, already. and, by god, is it an issue